PASSIVE OR ACTIVE: WHO DO YOU BECOME WHEN THINGS GO WRONG?
When Things Go Wrong, Who Shows Up?
The other day, my wife and I reversed into a tree.
Nothing dramatic—but enough to damage the back of the car and break part of the glass.
And instantly, the usual thoughts showed up:
How much is this going to cost?
What if the car is gone for days?
We only have one car… what now?
In that moment, we were facing a choice.
Not about the car.
About who we were going to be.
We could:
Panic
Get frustrated
Blame the situation
Feel stuck
Or we could:
Stay calm
Accept what happened
Take action
So we chose action.
We started calling mechanics.
Getting quotes.
Exploring options.
And something interesting happened.
The situation didn’t magically disappear.
But we felt better immediately.
Because action moves you forward.
Passivity keeps you stuck.
The Same Pattern, Different Situation
That same day, my friend Kevin faced his own version of “things not going to plan.”
His connecting flight in Chicago got cancelled.
He had to spend the night at the airport, waiting to be rebooked the next day.
Not ideal.
When I spoke to him, I asked a simple question:
“Are you choosing frustration… or curiosity?”
That question changed everything.
Instead of sitting in frustration, he shifted:
He started an audiobook
Talked to new people in the lounge
Used the time instead of fighting it
The situation didn’t change.
But his experience of it did.
The Real Performance Skill
Most people think performance is about doing more.
Often, it’s about choosing better in the moment.
You cannot control:
A dented car
A cancelled flight
A bad race
A lost client
A difficult day
But you always control:
Who you decide to be when it happens.
Passivity feels natural.
But it leads to:
Frustration
Overthinking
Feeling stuck
No movement
Action—even small action—creates:
Momentum
Clarity
Energy
Progress
What This Looks Like in Your World
If you are an entrepreneur:
A deal falls through.
Passive response:
“This always happens. Maybe this isn’t working.”
Active response:“
What can I learn? Who else can I reach out to today?”
Momentum returns the moment you act.
If you are a CEO or leader:
A key employee leaves or a project fails.
Passive response:
Blame.
Frustration.
Delayed decisions.
Active response:
“What needs to change?
What conversation needs to happen now?”
Leadership shows up in action, not reaction.
If you are a professional athlete:
A poor performance or bad session hits.
Passive response:
Self-judgment.
Doubt.
Loss of confidence.
Active response:“
What does this show me?
What do I adjust next?”
The next performance is shaped by how you respond to the last one.
A Simple Truth
You don’t need to control every situation.
You need to decide how you show up in it.
Because staying passive will never move you forward.
Action always will.
Even if it’s imperfect.
Even if it’s small.
Even if it’s just the first step.
Final Thought
Life will keep giving you moments that don’t go your way.
The question is never just:
What happened?
The real question is:
Who are you choosing to be now?
If This Resonates
If you feel like you’ve been stuck in frustration, overthinking, or passivity—whether in sport, business, or leadership—this is exactly the kind of work I help people with.
Learning to choose your response in pressure moments changes everything.
If you’d like support in that journey, feel free to reach out:
A Question for You
The next time something goes wrong… will you choose to stay passive, or will you take action and move forward?
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