STRESSING VS CARING: The Mental Shift That Changed My Race

This past weekend I raced the Cape Town Trail 22km and finished 2nd overall.

But the biggest lesson from the race had little to do with fitness.

It had everything to do with mindset.

Before the race, I realized I had two options:

I could STRESS… or I could CARE.

At first, those sound almost identical.

Most people actually believe stressing is proof that they care deeply about something.

But I’ve started learning they are completely different.

Stressing is your body and mind’s natural reaction to a challenge, demand, uncertainty, or unexpected change. It activates the fight-or-flight response.

Your mind races.

Your body tightens.

Your attention scatters.

And here’s the strange thing:

Many people wear stress almost like a badge of honor.

“If I’m stressing, it means I really care.”

But in Straight-Line Leadership, Dusan Djukich explains something powerful:

Most people use stress as a performative way of proving they care about a result, when in reality stressing and true caring are opposites.

Stress creates emotional noise.

Caring creates clarity.

Djukich argues that stress tricks people into believing everything is an emergency, and that state destroys performance.

And honestly… I saw that clearly before my race.

I didn’t know most of the competitors.

So if I had started using them as my reference point, I would have immediately entered stress mode:

“What if they’re stronger?”

“What if I go out too fast?”

“What if I blow up halfway through?”

But none of those thoughts would have helped me execute better.

So instead, I chose caring.

Caring meant:

Taking ownership of what I could control.

Respecting the demands of the course.

Trusting my preparation.

Choosing a pacing strategy that gave me the best chance to finish strong instead of emotionally reacting to the race.

I wasn’t there to prove anything to anyone.

I was there to discover what my best performance could look like that day.

And interestingly enough… caring rewarded me.

The more I reflect on this, the more I realize this applies far beyond sport.

A golfer stands over an important shot.

Their mind starts racing:

“Don’t hit it in the water.”

“What if I choke again?”

“What will everyone think if I mess this up?”

But how exactly does stressing help them execute the shot better?

An entrepreneur faces uncertainty in business.

Cash flow pressure.

A difficult launch.

A competitor growing faster.

How does emotional panic improve decision-making?

A leader walks into a difficult conversation with their team.

They overthink reactions, outcomes, and possible conflict.

But does stressing create clearer leadership… or does it simply consume energy that could have gone into presence, listening, and execution?

That’s the trap of stress.

Stress makes you obsess over things you often cannot control.

The opinions of others.

Future outcomes.

Worst-case scenarios.

Possibilities that haven’t even happened yet.

Meanwhile your ability to stay present disappears.

And presence is where performance lives.

The caring approach is different.

People who truly care step back.

They breathe.

They remove emotional drama.

They stop wasting energy worrying about how they look or what others may think.

Because they care deeply about the objective itself, they intentionally calm their minds so they can clearly see the next step and execute it with poise.

Djukich says it perfectly:

“People will do the deed once they stop caring about anything but the deed itself.”

That line hits deeply.

Because true care is quiet commitment.

Stress is noisy anxiety.

And honestly… stress is often ego-based.

Stress is usually connected to:

“How will this make me look?”

“What if I fail?”

“What if people judge me?”

“What if this says something about me?”

Your energy becomes scattered by emotional noise.

Minimal progress happens because your focus is fragmented.

But imagine redirecting that same energy toward execution instead.

Toward the next step.

The next decision.

The next shot.

The next conversation.

The next action.

That movement is what usually changes the situation.

Not emotional chaos.

So maybe the real question isn’t:

“Do you care?”

Maybe the better question is:

“Is your stress actually helping you perform… or is it distracting you from the very thing that would move you forward?”